Remember how, as a kid, your older brother or sister would push your hand into your own face repeatedly, asking over and over, “Why you hitting yourself? Why you hitting yourself?” Remember how irritating, frustrating and a little bit helpless that felt?

So…why you still hitting yourself?

From the dinner you “shouldn’t have” but did, to the workout you “should have” but didn’t. The times you look in the mirror and criticize your hair, your wrinkles, your belly. When you look at all those impossible “fitspo” pics on Pinterest and beat yourself up for not looking like that…

Why ARE you still beating yourself up?

Would you look at your best friend so critically? Would you be so mean to anyone else you loved? Of course not.

It’s time to stop beating yourself up. Why? Because every time you are critical and angry at yourself, you are losing ground. Whether your goal is weight loss or strength (or both, my favorite option!), continuing this cycle of negativity is going to keep you from your goal. You can’t keep telling yourself that you suck if you want to succeed.

Because success doesn’t suck.

Here’s how to stop beating yourself up RIGHT NOW.


Step One: Get over the thing. So you ate a huge “off-plan” meal. So you skipped a workout. Okay. That’s over now, so move on.

Step Two: Tell a friend. This happened to me very recently, actually, and it’s the reason I decided to make this topic a blog post. After eating a giant meal full of things I rarely eat, I texted a friend. My text read something like, “I suck. I ate all these things. Help.” She wrote back with something like, “You don’t suck; I’ve been there. I’ll check in with you tomorrow to see how you’re doing.” See how easy that was? Everyone has those days. When you keep yours in and feel guilty, you’re only hurting yourself. Tell someone you trust. Then, like in step one: move on.

Step Three: Write it down. If you find that you’re having these slip-ups of self-doubt or self-sabotage often (more than once or twice a week), it’s time to start journaling it. Write down how you were feeling, what happened in your day, etc. Write the date. By journaling, you might start finding patterns. Is there a certain time of the month that you go through this more often? Are you going through stress at work or with a loved one? Write it down and then…you know what’s coming, right? Move on.

Step Four: Turn it around. So now you’ve done it, you’ve talked about it, you’ve written it down. It’s time to stop the behavior. If you’ve over-indulged in a food, don’t do the same thing again tomorrow (but also don’t give yourself ridiculous rules about never eating it again in your life). If you skipped tonight’s workout, get out your calendar and plan your next one. Plan it with a friend! Hey, contact a cool personal trainer and plan it with her!

And then? Move on! Duh.

Thanks for reading!


Photo credit: Kick Boxer, Lara Danielle/flickr, CC license; Plant Your Own Garden, Celestine Chua/flickr, CC

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